【書く】 Lang-8の添削をきちんとものにする

こんばんは。Lang-8の進捗はいかがですか？私は、添削してもらった後にそのままにしないようし、内容をワードファイルに再度まとめています。

・自分の文章を上に、添削後の文章を下に書く。

・添削個所を下線付きの赤色でマークする。

・コメント等は緑色でマークする。

・ある程度たまったら、pdf形式で保存し、自分のスマーフォンに送る。

・通勤時や空き時間にpdfを眺めて理解する。

以下は、pdfではありませんが、ワードファイルにまとめた例です。ご参考になるとありがたいです。また、ノンネイティブの英検一級取得者の英文がこの程度と感じていただけると嬉しいです。

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Siuts in Company

I have been working for a company for eight years.

添削の必要がありません。

Our company has a strange custom that employees whose positions are less than a section manager commute to the workplace wearing casual clothes such as jeans and T-shirts.

Our company has a strange custom that allows employees whose positions are less than a section manager, commute to the workplace wearing casual clothes, such as jeans and T-shirts.

In the casual clothes, I do not feel neat, and a bit embarrassed in the commuting train.

When I'm in casual clothes, I do not feel neat, and I'm a bit embarrassed on the commuting train.

Once a while, I tried to go to the workplace in suits.

Once in a while, I try to go to the workplace in a suit.

I was annoyed, however, when my colleagues asked me why I was wearing the suits.

I got annoyed, however, when my colleagues asked me why I was wearing a suit.

From those experiences, I quited wearing suits while commuting.

As a result of those experiences, I quit wearing suits while commuting.

On some occasions, we should wear suits in the workplace.

添削の必要がありません。

Such occasions are being taken photo of us for identification cards, and attending funerals of the family of our colleagues.

Such occasions include, when photos are taken for identification cards and attending funerals for the family of our colleagues.

Recently, I was embarrassed because I did not have suits in my locker when suits are required.

Recently, I was embarrassed because I did not have suits in my locker when suits were are required.

I was dejected, but I took this experience the opportunity for putting suits in my locker.

I was dejected, but I took this experience as an opportunity to put some suits in my locker.

Right away, I am going to buy the suits tomorrow.

I am going hurry and buy the suits tomorrow.

Right away is now, not tomorrow.

I heard that there are “semi-tailor suits”, which is not expensive and close to tailor-made suits.

I heard that there are “semi-tailored suits”, which are not expensive and similar to tailor-made suits.

The price is less than 150 dollars

添削の必要がありません。

Better: They cost less than 150 dollars.

I am now looking forward to that.

I am looking forward to that.

When suits are abruptly needed, I want to show up both efficiently and smartly!

添削の必要がありません。

Better: When a suit is needed right away, I want to be ready, acting efficiently and intelligently.

Good job!

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いつもありがとうございます！😺